feeling attached;

2009-11-05T22:42:00.000+08:00

welcome to the next episode of my life.
melissacelestinekoh.wordpress.com

2009-10-14T22:42:00.000+08:00

i've moved on.

♥♥♥ forever young ♥♥♥

2009-10-12T21:20:00.000+08:00

Life is so easy
when you are young.
When kisses heal boo-boos
and lullabies are sung.
It seemed that life could go on for years,
as long as the nightlight was there
to quiet our fears.
Why does growing up
have to be so hard?
When did the world become
bigger than our own back yard?
There is no more recess
to stop the stress of the school day.
There are no more falling stars
that can take our worries away.
Decisions are more complicated
now that we are grown,
why cant we go back
to when life was our own?

2009-10-10T01:10:00.003+08:00

KR STEPPERS TURNS FOUR!

being a noob at photoshop, i relied entirely on "Paint" and Microsoft word for the door gift! haha i googled for "CARTOON NETWORK" for the black and white cubes, hence the cartoon network-inspired looking design. Then i slowly used the paint brush to colour the C, A, R, T, O, O etc before copying and paste each alphabet K, R, S, T, E .....
give me A+ for effort please!

ok must give Billy A+ for effort too, cos he painstakingly did each certificate individually by blurring out the faces, and whatever other photoshop tools he used like shadowing etc!

09 Oct 2009, 18:00
"Lets wait for Billy the Maria to come before we carry the food over to A blk"
"Lets leave the balance for Weeps to bring over"
"I cannot carry anything heavy cos my sports bra is too tight"

HAHAHAHA! what a bunch of lazy sluts. eh wait that's just Edward and I. haha anyway despite all the whining, we set up the place way before the freshies arrived (:

then dearest billy, our steppers comm maria started the fire, and prepared the food!

weeps and edward set up the laptop for videos, put up the banners, and decorated the place (well the tried to)

guess what i was doing?? admiring the sunset (:
HAHA Kidding, i went down to the kitchen to heat up the food!

and i helped billy out for a tiny little while!

Here are random photos taken during the party:

vodka jelly, super nice!!!!! (:

thanks beng for the vodka!(:

check out my ugly face! hahaha

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY STEPPERS!

steppers comm 0910

white chocolate macadamia! took the pretty flowers for myself! :D

We were watching our cheerobics video and Wei Li said, "Look at that aunty clapping (at the corner of the video)! Damn enthu". Guess what? She's my grandmother, sitting right in front, always there to support me no matter what. I love her so much (:

then came my favouriteeeee (:

after the party was over. i had a super long msn conversation with jon the wierdo.

mel says:
ok
some more?
[C-onnyaku] Magpie+ says:
ur thinkless
mel says:
hahahahha
i think its the vodka
im gonna get hangover
[C-onnyaku] Magpie+ says:
when u do layout u try to get ur body to hang over

2009-10-09T02:25:00.004+08:00

can't wait for the weekend. i really need a break.
a break to catch up with my work, projects, webcasts, tutorials and whatever i'm lagging behind in.
a whole load of it actually.
no pun intended about the "break".

8 Oct 2009.

slowly but surely.

2009-10-08T00:16:00.003+08:00

when i hand in my AIS project on Fri, i'm gonna be so damn relieved.
a huge chunk off my chest, for good.

e-learning week sucks.
i'm subletting my life to project meetings and steppers trainings.
life sucks.
this is no life.

i wish i wasn't in this.

2009-10-07T02:00:00.002+08:00

my sister's third birthday is finally over (:
these were pictures of her first birthday, when she was still a baby!
when (and if) i get hold of pictures of her most recent birthday celebration, i'll post it up (:

those were the times you lifted me off the ground and swung me round and round.
i was still a little girl.

i love you.

2009-10-06T19:21:00.001+08:00

On this day of your life, Melissa, we believe God wants you to know ... that every little part of you is magical.
	Yes, even the parts that hurt, even the ones that are feeling disease right now. It's alright to love what is in pain. More than alright, that's exactly where your love is needed the most. So why not touch that part that hurts and smile at it, at yourself through it, and whisper: ''I love you.''

2009-10-06T18:02:00.003+08:00

I really regret rejecting my SEP offer to University of Washington! I can't wait for the next round of applications to open, I've been checking my emails everyday but so far only internal exchange to SMU/NTU! boringgggg :( i wanna go overseas!! everyone says that when you go for exchange you don't wanna come back! HAHA (:

Midterms are OFFICIALLY over, i'm soooo damn relieved. (:
Thank God for helping me through it! (:(:

Many project deadlines to meet in the coming weeks, so yes please say hello to more stress!!
but i must say i quite like my project group mates this semester! they're all different people, with really diverse backgrounds! (: mostly people i've worked with for the first time!!!

i used to think working with people i'm familiar with is always the safest and best option, but no they will NEVER out-perform and there's so little to learn from the same old group of people!
working with friends breeds a tendency for one to digress a lot, lose focus, get easily distracted, and get highly complacent. they tend to take things for granted, and fail to explore possibilities beyond what they think is possible.

on the other hand, groups that work well are usually never consciously planned, because uhmmm, they just happen-- they suddenly "evolve" into a lively, high-achieving, dedicated group which is turned on by challenges and competition. I'm not assuming here, that every group of acquainted individuals will produce itself into an awesome team. In fact, the potential conflicts that arise from the intensity of a new experience could be a possible downturn. At the beginning, when individuals come together, it may be difficult to encourage communication, coupled with low morale and motivation, that group may never perform if it doesn't get through that stage. BUT COME ON, it's NUS and everyone here works at such an incredible pace, acquainting one self is done quickly and the project is started almost immediately after the group is formed. We get to know each other simultaneously while working together. and before we know it, we become a high-performing team! (:

anyway, no i'm not concluding that my project teams are high performers. but i think there's some possibility for us to be FANTASTIC (:

lets see how things go.

Fri 9/10- AIS Project Deadline (25%)
Tue 13/10- Biz Comm OP Evaluation
Fri 16/10- Oral Presentation of Report for Biz Comm (15%)
Tue 20/10- Executive Summary and Report due (30%)
Fri- 23/10- Finance Quiz 2 (5%)
Mon- 26/10- Project Presentation and Written Report deadline for Cities in Transition (25%)
Tue- 3/11- Letter Writting Test (20%)
Mon- 9/11- MIS Individual term paper (15%)
Tue-10/11- Oral Presentation and Report due for Organisational Behaviour (40%)
Tue-10/11- OB Reflection Paper (20%)
Fri -13/11-Finance Quiz 3 (5%)

Sat-21/11- AIS EXAM
Tue-24/11- Finance EXAM
Mon-30/11- Cities in Transition EXAM

EXCITING EXCITING EXCITING!!!!! (:

after that, i'll be free like a bird! i can't wait.

have a great trip (:

2009-10-05T01:24:00.004+08:00

JOY JOY AND KOR KOR JED LEFT FOR USA LAST WEEKEND!
not for their honeymoon, but to pursue her studies in law for joy, and an overseas work trip for jed! (:

all the girl cousins (: BEST!!!

damn pretty background!

many many people to send them off!

i'm gonna miss joy joy :(

2009-10-03T01:44:00.003+08:00

my all time favourite (:

finance mid terms tomorrow. not absolutely prepared but i'm just going to do my best and trust that God will do the rest!! not studying as hard as others, but i must admit i tried to be pretty consistent- in completing my tutorials as they fall due, attending all my lectures, and webcasting immediately the day after (if i happen to miss class).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAYE KAYE (: you're the sweetest thing of all!

2009-10-02T14:41:00.002+08:00

pardon for my laggyness but here's an update of my dad's birthday celebrations about a month ago! (:

2009-10-02T04:00:00.001+08:00

i feel like the most horrible thing on earth now :(

super tired
bad headache
insomnia

2009-10-02T03:03:00.001+08:00

AIS tutorial not done.
haven't finished studying for finance mid terms
8am class tomorrow
peer evaluation for report not finalized

i wanna scream.
but i think i'm too tired to do so.

2009-10-01T01:26:00.000+08:00

time flies?

SPOT ME!

maris stella taught us- "to love through love, to love through care"

is it part of human nature?

2009-09-30T01:21:00.003+08:00

when the going gets tough, the tough goes shopping
online shopping (:

online shopping makes me so happy!! i can still remember how badly i was craving to shop/get out of campus last May during the exam period. feel the same urge and craving right now! :/ (but its not the exam period yet!!)
someone got me a pair of earings and fried mars bars with melted ice cream in an attempt to make me concentrate on studying!! (:(: LOVEES IT LA! (:
yay i always go back to times like these when i'm down to cheer myself up and make me realize what a lucky girl i am!! (:

tomorrow is WEDNESDAY again :(
i always don't have any time for lunch on Wednesdays cos they're filled with project meetings one after another! hope my lucky star will pop by the brown benches with a sandwich again (okay i hope you see this, i'm sick of sandwiches! could you get me something else instead? hahaha kidding)
i have so many project meetings, i hardly have any time left for my own self revision :(
GO ME! one last mid term before i go full force into my proj work!

you only treasure what you don't have, you'll never treasure what you have.
if its something you want very badly, you'll do anything for it.
but once you've gotten it, you simply take everything for granted
...and... i think that is the saddest part of it all.

2009-09-29T11:26:00.000+08:00

Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire
No one else will do
'Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You

You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near

you don't light my day no more.

2009-09-29T02:19:00.003+08:00

i got a mid term tomorrow and i can't get myself to bed although the weather is so nice!
i feel as if i've finished studying already, but obviously there's no such thing as "finish" when it comes to studying.
i'm just giving myself excuses to stop studying.
but well, i don't really care!!

i'm quite hungry now, i wish i went for supper with edward just now! :(
omg love spending time with them cos they always make so super happy and our conversations are always super duper engaging! HAHA!

ok i better publish this senseless entry before my internet connection dies on me again!
i feel lost and helpless without the internet.
i can't sleep, i finished 3 chapters of my story book already, 2 chapters to go and i finish the book but i wanna save it for another day!

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE TAKING THEIR MID TERMS! :)

2009-09-26T23:42:00.002+08:00

I don't wanna runaway
I don't wanna be alone
Baby no promises

2009-09-26T17:39:00.003+08:00

I'm so relieved that it's the end of the very first STEPPERS (THAI) CAMP, but that also signifies the nearing end of my mid term break.
yesterday evening was spent celebrating Edward (and Deo's belated) birthday at FISH AND CO (:
anyway, the camp in general was just okay, i'm just relieved that we managed to accomplish what we had planned to do! (:
maybe just one line to sum it all: the opposite of dissatisfaction is not satisfaction but just no dissatisfaction.

going off to the airport T2 now for a family dinner at Soup Restaurant and then bid farewell to my cousin, Joy.

and after all that we've been through, our journey has only just begun

2009-09-24T01:03:00.006+08:00

i was looking at my archives- aug 2008 and sep 2008.
it's pretty interesting how i started university life by being part of business rag dance (where i had absolutely no idea what i was getting myself into, but its okay i made really good friends)

and pageant of cos (yet another fantastic experience).

i can still recall every single weekend that i always look forward so much to! like just to get away from my books and take a nice breather before the hectic week starts all over again, and not to forget the endless activities that i would eagerly anticipate like even simple performances by steppers (high school musical etc), hall dnd whatever! omg those were the days of being a freshie!
we even had dress codes for lecture (like pretty in pink day!)

i was trying to justify with myself how and why i managed to become so ugly:(
like omg my pageant photos were so pretty flawless and all nice but today i'm looking like some horrible thing with big fugly panda eyebags, a washed-out shagged-till-wanna-die face, unkempt hair, fat ugly body, super un-toned muscles etc!
i don't wanna look in the mirror because i don't want to face the ugly reality.

previously, i used to indulge myself sinfully in anything i love eating. (maybe cause i went out soo frequently on lunch and dinner dates!!! too frequent for my own good! haha!) i guess i'm doing less and less of that these days and i can't help it but i think twice/trice/quadruple times before i put something in my mouth.
i bet i would never ever scoop out the oil from the soup last time. i don't know why i'm so paranoid at it now :(
i really don't know what has brought about this change but i'm not hypothesizing that it's for the better/worse.
the super oily chicken wings, spicy curry chicken, char kuay teow, laksa, nasi lemak etc.
i really seriously can't remember the last time i ate those! :( used to have it after every single training back in JC!! (i actually kinda miss it!!)
sometimes i admit i do give in to it but most of the time i still try to hold back.

its amusing how i also used to dislike people who were caught up in their mini/humongous (or-so-they think) rat race that they forget everyone else and everything around them.
its quite sad that i'm slowly becoming like one of them.
don't really bother hyping myself up and making myself look forward to things (although i try to sometimes. but well, epic fail). life is becoming less meaningful, no wait, more meaningless.
all i do is think about my books, my tests, my projects, my work! i'm just so engrossed in catching up and keeping the pace, i forget why i'm working so hard in the first place.
i used to be enticed by simple little things but i don't find myself enticed the same way anymore.
steppers trainings has been steppers trainings and are just trainings as it is, spending time with my loved ones are sometimes taken for granted, i question myself why i'm spending time with them in the first place at times.
and when i'm alone again, i just wanna coup myself up and bury myself in my books because i see not much point in anything.
but yet, the amount of motivation i have to work is astonishingly little.

okay, here's the end of my pointless entry, but it somewhat encapsulates whatever that has been running through my mind from time to time.

and after all that we've been through, our journey has only just begun

2009-09-23T01:50:00.002+08:00

i realize i shop online so much these days, even more than i actually facebook!
anyway, i'm quite happy that i've read through all my notes for CIT and OB!
now its down to memorizing stuff, the part i dread most.
guess i'm gonna procrastinate and start cramming everything on saturday or sunday only!

i was looking forward to thai camp, now i'm almost dreading it.
okay, i'm confused.

post-modernism

2009-09-22T17:28:00.000+08:00

aren't we all similar in trying to be different?

don't know what i'm doing.

2009-09-22T02:03:00.001+08:00

useless, just so useless.

2009-09-18T16:15:00.003+08:00

Young girl, don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl, it's all right
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly

When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Young girl, don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight
And soon you're gonna see your brighter day

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know

You'll make it
You'll make it
Just don't go forsaking yourself
No one can stop you
You know that I'm talking to you

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall

SO APT.

attempt AIS project; prepare individual answers before meeting on Sun.
compile project for Biz comm
OB mid terms
Cities in transition mid terms
Finance mid terms
executive summary for report (biz comm)
finance tutorial 5
AIS tutorial 6
finance tutorial 6
OB proj meeting
Cities in transition field work
Cities in transition grp meeting
site visit to URA.

i am going to study very very hard for mid terms with just 2 days (MONDAY and TUESDAY) i have.

2009-09-17T20:31:00.003+08:00

i wanna say that it was really really nice of him to nudge me on msn with an encouragement note.
"i know you must be feeling really stressed about your work and test tomorrow, just keep the faith and you'll surely be able to handle it! i know you can do it cos you've done it before!"
yay that really made my night, and i'm sooo happy, i feel that i can conquer the earth right now.
a year ago today

and thank you Edward and Billy, my dearest comm members, for helping me out when i need it!
like, going to find XYZ to ask him whether he's coming down for training, to help me sms everyone, and to help me with all the sai gang every now and then!
LOVEEEEE LOVE!

2009-09-17T12:30:00.002+08:00

today, is a very important day.
because tomorrow, i got a presentation as well as a finance quiz, which is graded and accounted partly to my final grade at the end of the semester.

the situation now is such:
1) AIS: got the slides and doc. done for the presentation. haven't split part among group members. hence, haven't prepared my part.
2) i have not started studying for finance at all ~~because i have been so busy with projects!~~ (no excuses)
3) i have not done my tutorials that are due tomorrow!
4) i haven't planned for steppers training tonight.

given that my day is jam packed with lectures, i only have the time in between dinner and training to get the above done.

i've got an 8AM class on fri morning, and i need to get enough sleep the night before.
so i'm really really hoping i get tuck in bed by 3PM latest immediately after training.
i really don't want to watch another sunrise.

okay, i'm off for lecture now (:

it's just a few years away to adulthood.

2009-09-16T22:14:00.003+08:00

hahaha! i feel a bit like that now!
but im not so retarded! thats like extreme!

i know this may sound apt, but i think this may be the best time of my life.
when the time comes for me to start work, i know i'm gonna miss all these shit.

projects, tests, exams, tutorials, classes; they're so helluva slack, what am i complaining about right?
what the heck!
goodness knows i may even miss the stress i get from steppers training and school work.
its good stress, and i'm enjoying it.
i'm gonna make myself enjoy it!

it's just a few years away to adulthood.

jason, you enlighten me.

2009-09-15T19:21:00.002+08:00

i gave in to my weakness.
i reprinted my OB notes. i'm gonna transfer over the stuff i took down in class after steppers training tonight.
felt so horrible during the entire class having to flip over so often
and that empty side, omg it kills my eyes!

tonight, i need to rush AIS presentation qns, finance tutorial 5 and cities in transition readings!
with any spare time i have (i highly doubt), i MUST start studying for my finance quiz!!

i need to plan for my mid term break.
4 meetings for 4 modules- OB, Cities, AIS, biz comm!
3 midterm tests- OB, cities, finance
2 free days to study (mon & tues) ehh but monday and tues got meeting! SIAN!
1 steppers thai camp thats gonna burn the rest of the week!

i know i can do this
and my mid terms and projects are important above all others.

pardon me if my blog entries are getting boring these days
about school work and nothing else
this is like the only outlet i can turn to when i'm feeling stressed! :/

ok gonna hit my books now now now

2009-09-15T14:48:00.004+08:00

i really think i've got obsessive compulsive disorder
and i think i've got absolutely zero affinity with my new printer.
i just printed my OB notes and i forgot to make it double sided.

i'm so super annoyed that its single sided but im trying to learn to accept that single sided is ok too.
i've been feeling so effed up about this the past hour but im really trying very hard not to waste my ink by reprinting it.
otherwise, i'm gonna waste like 14 pages of paper and ink :(
omg but i'd really love it if the whole stack of notes was less thick!

ahh im really trying very hard to accept that it is single sided
i'm still very tempted to reprint but i gotta go for class

i will even go the extra mile of reprinting and copying over the notes later
but i got a thousand and one other things today
so i must not! i will not sublet myself.

i dont wanna be so OCD!:(
i hate single sided cos its not uniform with the rest of my other notes
and when i file it, it'll be wierd cos its just different.
when i study it, i will have to keep flipping it after every 4 slides.

omg HATEEEEEEEES IT.

2009-09-15T00:26:00.003+08:00

its the small little differences that make up for the big difference i feel today.

finance tutorial
AIS tutorial
Cities in transition (readings) + video
OB readings
AIS Presentation (fri)
FINANCE QUIZ (fri)
OB meeting
.Mon 6-7
Biz Comm meeting!
.Tue 10-12
.Wed 6-8
AIS Meeting Wed 2-4
OB midterms
Cities midterms
Finance mid terms
Biz Comm report draft 1 due
AIS Project
OB project

2009-09-12T00:47:00.001+08:00

so funny.

okay i'm going to sleep now.
weeps said, "I recommend you all sleep early ok tmr we're gonna be on tv"

catch KR Steppers on Channel U soon! (:
more details up later!

give up.

2009-09-10T21:27:00.000+08:00

There'll be a bump and there will be a bruise
There'll be alarms and there will be a snooze
There'll be a path that you will have to choose
There'll be a win and there will be a lose and

You gotta hold your head up high and
Watch all the negative go by
Don't ever be ashamed to cry
You go ahead
Cause life's like a jump rope

2009-09-10T03:29:00.001+08:00

you've failed.
FAILED!

2009-09-09T18:56:00.002+08:00

i met erwin in the library just now and he was "mel, have you studied for finance quiz!"
i was like, "WHAT? there's a finance quiz? since when!?"
and then the table opposite me was complaining to one another about how they're dreading finance! like it being so difficult to study, what more score in exams right?
i was kinda happy to hear all that initially, i thought to myself that since everyone dreads it so much and thinks it's so difficult, i must work on it, master it and be better than all of them so i can get a good grade for this module. I WANNA BE THE FINANCE GURU!
then as i continued pondering over, i was thinking to myself again, "BUT THESE PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY MUGGING FOR THE FINANCE QUIZ ALREADY! i have not even completed my tutorials for this week, and i actually didn't even know that there was a quiz next week until erwin mentioned to me!"
ohhhhh my wishful thinking as always!
WAKE UP AND GET BACK TO REALITY ME!

i should stop dreaming, and just try to catch up before even thinking about being ahead.

2009-09-08T18:20:00.003+08:00

better late than never right?
RAG DAY 2009 (exactly 1 month ago)
8 AUG 2009.

damn bitchy omg.

happy birthday clarence.

2009-09-08T03:17:00.003+08:00

it's the 8th again.

happy birthday clarence!
you're finally 20 haha (:

2009-09-06T01:40:00.005+08:00

SIGH
i know what i gave up my student exchange programme to Universiry of Washington for.
now this Youth Expedition Project. why?

mel says:
haha no la not going
got steppers
DeeBlockeR. Leon | Maudlin. What if our love, never went away? says:
huh?!
omg wth?!
mel says:
haha i wanted to go but its on the 9-22 dec! i realised i cant :(
DeeBlockeR. Leon | Maudlin. What if our love, never went away? says:
...
mel mel, sometimes u gotta do what u love like YEP
steppers can go back anytime
YEP once u miss ure gonna forgo a good chance
mel says:
haha noo cos im the steppers vice captain so i can't be missing during trainings
and also, we're training for cheerobics! dec is like the most crucial period!
DeeBlockeR. Leon | Maudlin. What if our love, never went away? says:
oh well
mel says:
aiya but i really really wanna go for this YEP to china! teach those little kids english! sighh im damn sad i gotta miss it!
DeeBlockeR. Leon | Maudlin. What if our love, never went away? says:
somehow i really really am thinking for you and i feel that you should go on an exchange

I spoke to mommy about it, and obviously I didn't tell her I couldn't go cos of steppers, otherwise she'd start rambling on and on about steppers :(
like, "I SEND YOU TO NUS NOT TO JOIN PAGEANTS, DO CHEERLEADING, WASTE MONEY AT THOSE SILLY SECOND HAND BAZAARS BUT TO STUDY!" (the bazaars DO NOT sell second hand things for goodness sake!)
She gave no opinion to this.

Wei Li said that i jolly well know that its not possible cos the busy periods are exactly during the time I'll be gone.

Juncheng said i wouldn't be able to handle tough conditions and he's puzzled at the fact i'm even considering it in the first place. What little faith he has in me! :(

I'm whining to Edward about how ZZZZ i feel about not being able to go for this one, maybe we should organise a steppers YEP! (:
i think its possible with ME being part of the MOST FANTASTIC COMMITTEE! hope it can materialize! if it doesn't, then maybe i'll wait till someone organises another YEP that'll catch my attention!
i love steppers comm 09/10!

2009-09-04T22:53:00.003+08:00

agenda for the weekend:

make strawberry cheesecake
celebrate maid's birthday
meet up with SAJC classmates for a drink
beef up resume and send it for internship openings
complete latest organisational behaviour readings
start finance tutorial 3 on risk and returns
read through AIS lecture notes and tut 3!
go for Novena service on Saturday morning
shopping with mama on Sunday afternoon
tim sum lunch with my family at the cathay on Sunday!
decide about whether to join mommy for her bangkok trip
YEP application

lets see what i accomplish out of the list above.

2009-09-04T19:23:00.003+08:00

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT A PHOTO BLOG

anw, here are the balance of my cousin's wedding photos! (:
IT WAS AWESOME BEING PART OF THE ENTOURAGE!

pretty flowers we used to walk in! there were 2 ball rooms with over 200 tables!! THE BIGGEST WEDDING I'VE ATTENDED IN MY LIFE! (:

went to change out of our bridesmaid wear immediately after our job was done (:

shangrila is pretty!

a very very nice huge diamond necklace!

my table with super gorgeous decorations!

a very very unique desert (:

my partner for the walk in! KEVIN KOH LALA

i'm proud to have been a flower girl thrice, and a bridesmaid once in my lifetime!
LOVEEES IT!

2009-09-04T00:33:00.002+08:00

sdjhfkasfnbajkdsfnakljsnfdas
i did not study tonight
iksdfksadmas,dnfaksdnfadsm,fasm,nfasnfsdkjnkdfs

2009-09-03T23:07:00.002+08:00

super overdue photos from SHANGRILA (:

2009-09-03T18:04:00.002+08:00

it is definitely more than just trying your best.

finance lectures are crazy!
its no wonder that they have webcast so that people like me can play it on slow speed and still rewind countless times just so that i can catch some ball of the shit he is talking about!
i wouldn't deny that i'm enjoying the vigor and intensity of the module, and NO i'm not justifying myself just because i want to do a major in finance.

its uncanny how i can nod off during my geog breadth module despite 9 hours of sleep the night before, and how conveniently i whip out my story book to read before the lecture starts, while he tries oh-so-very-hard to engage us in urban related videos on mega cities like delhi, bangkok and what have you!?
but yet, i voluntarily put on my thinking cap, open my eyes and ears big and wide when it comes to finance lectures, so that i can absorb like a sponge every inch about portfolio risks, alien looking formulas on correlation coefficients, beta so on and so forth...
its not that im interested in all that crap, but well, its so complicated that i just have to listen and undertsand or i'll simply hate myself for being a loser!

i'm truly very very drained from academics and school, not to mention steppers also :(

I've been planning about my life (in the next two years or so) and i kind of regret not going for my exchange next semester! I don't know how things are going to turn out to be, but i trust and know that God will always provide (:

2009-09-02T22:40:00.002+08:00

"Mel i was at your blog and you sound sad!! Rmb, change is constant and inevitable but always make sure you're constant too! Keep that smile going all the time and be that sparkle in the dark, like you've always been. And change doesn't always have to come at a price. sure new things have come in, but the old have not gone. You will always have met those people you met, touched the hearts of those you touched, and loved those you loved. Every change is an enhancing new experience built upon the life you've created. Embrace them like how your friends and loved ones will always embrace you. Chin up for you never know what's coming! :)"

Thank you michael!!

i know things are never gonna be the same again, as long as i am happy with the way things are going. but even if im not, i will try to make myself happy. I AM CAPABLE OF THAT, i know.

shopping any takers?

Thank you mommy.

2009-09-01T23:09:00.003+08:00

In her eyes, I know I'm always her little darling.
She spoils me a lot, and gives me anything and (in fact) everything i want.

I will give her all the love in the world, plus everything she deserves and more;
I will work hard at school to make sure that the education fees she pay does not go to waste;
I will do my best when i go out to work, so that I will have the capability to support her.
I will manage a family that she can be proud of.

Thank you for my new handphone and video camcorder.
Although my casual "thank you's" may just seem like the normal "thank you" i say when you drop me off school, cook me my meals, make me supper, buy me essence of chicken, help me source for an internship and etc..
you know i mean it from the bottom of my heart!

I appreciate everything you've done for me.

I LOVE YOU MOMMY (:

2009-08-28T03:36:00.000+08:00

there's an aching in my heart

haha

2009-08-26T22:43:00.001+08:00

[FYPSUCKS0910] JAAAACCeeeee says:
haha
of coz
i went running and came back already
damn tired
mel says:
haha yay okay
[FYPSUCKS0910] JAAAACCeeeee says:
i ran the A bus route
mel says:
im hungry.
i dont know the A bus route
i dont know any bus routes
im in business school
the furthest i travel to is arts.
ahhahahaaha
i dont go for my science lectures cos they're too faraway

2009-08-26T19:28:00.001+08:00

life is more than a mad rush.

ANGSTY.

2009-08-26T01:41:00.004+08:00

i'm feeling very bitchy and i got a lot a million things off my mind to rant about.
from studies to steppers to relationships to just everything that is part of my life.
you are wrong to say that i'm a upset, miserable, sad, discontented, dreadful and troubled girl. I AM NOT. i am thankful and happy for the things God has given me, for the blessing he has showered upon me, and the guidance he has provided me in all my encounters.
thank God also for simple things like blogs and bestfriends.

P.S. BESTFRIEND, i'm so extremely reliant on my blog these days cos i don't have you! :(

this emotional build up can profoundly affect my behaviour, so pardon me if i behave erratically sometimes.
usually, i am capable of dealing with such infrequent occurences (or at least i wish to believe so) but only if they are buffered by uplifting events like love and support from people whom i really treasure.
The situation only gets much worse if there is an unrelenting series of negative events.
I always believe i can be plastic and a poker face if i want to but it is particularly detrimental to me and it can take its toll both psychologically and physically. If not for a healthy expressive outlet like my dear blog, my emotional repression can lead to a syndrome of emotional exhaustion and burnout. I've also learnt in class today that inhibiting emotion can lead to aversive physiological and physical outcomes. So, i may probably just die from some disorder like heart attack, hypertension or cancer soon.

if you are interested in this inexorable series of negative events, here it goes:
woke up late. rushed to class. ran across the road. got horned by a BMW. he pointed the middle finger. reached class in the nick of time. forgot my jacket. found out from the tutor we had to redo our purpose statement for the report planning. was in a heated discussion with my group mates. one of them was absent. could not hold a second discussion after class. looked forward to eating kebab rice. forgot to bring my wallet. the kebab was extra oily and salty. owed ochi money. rushed back to hall to catch some sleep. had to print my notes for OB because they were uploaded late. had trouble changing my printer ink cartridge. wanted to print it double sided but flipped it in the wrong direction so it was upside down. got extremely frustrated because im OCD. printed everything again but my printer failed halfway because i didn't fit in the new ink properly. wasted paper, ink and time. printed it the third time (thank goodness it was ok or i would have jumped down the building). slept for about half an hour and was disturbed by some random caller from fitness first/where ever asking me to go for a free trial. woke up late for my afternoon class AGAIN. ran there under the scorching sun. climbed a million steps to get there but there was a silly notice on the door saying that there was a change of venue. ran down but it was locked. went back up and the sign was removed because it was meant for the previous class.
felt so tired during class i napped during all the videos they played. didn't participate at all in any discussion because i didn't watch the video clips. was extremely bitchy to a group member i knew for the first time. class ended late. left even before the stupid prof dismissed us. rushed back to eat dinner. went down for dinner late. had a sucky dinner. went to take attendance for the UBS talk. tried to study at the library but it was noisy. wanted to go back but it started raining. had to rush back for training by the time i settled down and got started on work. training started late. insulted wei li for nothing. training didn't end late but i didn't get to buy supper because i could not decide what i wanted to eat. i did not bring my wallet down. i am hungry now.

i hope tomorrow will be a better day!

emotional

2009-08-23T22:37:00.002+08:00

change is the only constant;

after so much that i have been through.

lost slippers.

2009-08-20T02:13:00.004+08:00

i'm still feeling very sore about losing my havaianas slippers :(
hate losing things with sentimental value
i hope someone will buy me another pair and pretend that he/she found my old one.
i miss my wonder mama, i don't like staying in hall as much as i used to
i want to go home.

two cents worth: OB-nature/nurture?

2009-08-19T14:05:00.004+08:00

I just finished my reading for one of my modules- organisational behaviour
and i have this urge to give my two cents worth.
don't worry it's nothing dull or boring but skip it if you want to.

1) Emotion before Reasoning
Today, business people are often trained to dispense with emotions in favour of rational analysis and urged to make choices using logical devices such as decision trees (yes like those we learnt in project management :/), spreadsheets and what not. That is why, for instance, even the most sensible employees cannot seem to receive feedback in the constructive vein in which it is often given. Because of the primacy of emotions, people hear bad news first and loudest.
We should not assume that people can balance positive and negative messages. The negatives have by far the greater power and can wipe out in one stroke all the built-up credit of positive messages. In fact, because of the primacy of emotions, perhaps the most discouraging and potentially dangerous thing is to tell one he or she has failed.
So, don't tell me that i've failed in future, just ask me to try harder.

2) Classification before calculus
In order to make sense of a complicated universe, human beings developed prodigious capabilities for sorting and classifying information. I read somewhere that some nonliterate tribes that are still in existence today, have complete taxonomic knowledge of their environment in terms of animal habits and plant life. I believe in stone age, such capabilities were not limited to the natural environment. To prosper in the clan, human beings (or apes then) had to become expert at making judicious alliances. Thus, human beings became hardwired to stereotype people based on very small pieces of evidence, mainly their looks and a few readily apparent behaviours. I don't deny being guilty of that (like how i called an ah tiong in front of an ah tiong).

Haha but do think rationally. Whether it was sorting berries or people, both worked to the same end. Classification actually makes life simpler and you can save time and energy. The faster you make decisions like such, the more likely you are to survive. Sitting around doing calculus is not a recipe for a long and fertile life.
And so, classification before calculus remains with us today. People naturally sort others into in-groups and out-groups -just by their looks and actions.
However, that such propensity to classify is human nature and doesn't make it right. People are complex and many sided. But it is illuminating to know that we are actually programmed not to see them that way.

3) Gossip
In class yesterday, we were discussing between nature and nurture. We briefly talked about Darwinism, natural selection- where the strongest and fittest survive.
Indeed, survivors were those who were savvy enough to anticipate power shifts and swiftly adjust for them, as well as those who could manipulate them. They were savvy because they engaged in, and likely showed a skill for, gossip. In fact, it is fair to assume that human beings have stayed alive and increased their chances of reproducing because of such artful politicking. Since the interest in rumours is ingrained into human nature, it makes little sense to try and eliminate such interest by increasing the flood of official communications. I am not trying to encourage malicious and petty gossip here, but when it comes to gossip, it may be that managing by wandering about is the most effective way to communicate, as long as it is performed in a climate of trust and openness.

I'm on to my next reading on 'personality and performance'! A million readings to do for OB, and my geog module! thank goodness tutorials start next week only.
i need to get my financial calculator ASAP :/
SAVE ME!

i'm not slow.

2009-08-17T00:39:00.006+08:00

I'M NOT SLOW. I'M JUST BUSY.

more to come, another day!

on the wings of love

2009-08-16T02:30:00.001+08:00

BURN!

i'm so tired trying to juggle with jamnhop meetings, rag dance, hall bash planning and everything! i've been skipping road race trainings like crazy, i don't even know if it exists! :(
rag dance has been quite draining that i actually can't wait for school to start!

-i blogged this some time ago but i didn't wanna publish it.
i usually hate telling myself that i can't handle things because it'll possibly mean that i really can't. if i keep telling myself i can, i know i can!
i feel so tired from all the activities since the start of the school week! i've got a pile of readings on my table waiting for me! not to mention an upcoming presentation this thurs, and the first part of the report due as well :(
thank goodness hall bash & jamnhop are over!
today has been a mad rush!! after the new urban male fashion show thing at novena, i rushed off for my grandfather's birthday!

we celebrated for him at sentosa cove! imperial treasures at one degree fifteen!! (: went early to take a look at all the yachts and to cam whore! the scenery was so beautiful!i felt as if i was out of singapore!
food was so damn awesome! we had an 8 course meal, double boiled chicken soup with superior sharks fin, abalone, steamed fish, this damn yummy lobster, alaskan crab with wine etc! can't rmb the rest! :/ but it was definitely a good fill! (:

aft i got back, i went to chomp chomp with juncheng for supper! AND GUESS WHAT?!!! i found a frolick outlet there! i was so frigging elated!

had porridge and chicken wings for my supper! I AM GONNA START EXERCISING AND STOP EATING!

alright, tommorrow's gonna be yet another long day. if anyone's bored to death at home (so bored that you're reading my blog), feel free to drop by velocity tomorrow between 1-2 and/or 3-4 to watch me parade around in some ugly NUM clothes!

that's abt it, good night (:

choir videos

2009-08-09T22:34:00.003+08:00

i've got so much to blog about i dont know where to start.
my laptop is down so i'm blogging from my home desktop! no pictures to upload yet :/
here are the video's of my choir at victoria concert hall (:
loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2009-07-31T03:44:00.001+08:00

i just blogged a emotional entry but i am not gonna publish it because I don't want anyone to read it.
i'm talking to my bestfriend now, seems like i can only catch her in the wee hours of the morning like now! YAY (:
good night!

2009-07-30T20:38:00.002+08:00

I got my 4 core modules this semester already, and I'm on my way to bidding for my 5th and maybe 6th one! (:
It is gonna be a bad semester if i am inconsistent because the modules ain't very easy!
finance, accounting and information systems, business communications, organisational behaviour!

must study must study must study!

i'm quite settled on doing a double major on finance and management! (:
boringggggggg right?

xania told me this in an email last christmas,

"If he can make you happy, he must. And it better be all the time. He must make you feel like the most important creature on earth. There should never be a point in time you are feeling upset or down because of him. If he treasures you like his most expensive jewel, he will treat you well and make you feel like the most wonderful thing ever. Remember, you should always feel wonderful. Then, you must return his love with kindess, graciousness and your big bright beautiful smile!"

yesterday, she emailed me this,
"Mel, are you grinning your most big bright and beautiful smile? I hope you're feeling awesome now"

truly, i don't know if i am! probably most of the time, but not always :(

if you care!

2009-07-30T03:42:00.002+08:00

omg i've been so busy with rag dance and fwoc! :(
thurs- rag dance
fri- jamnhop meeting, bbq, seniors performance
sat-rag dance, church, choir pract
sun-rag dance, painting
mon-rag dance
tue-flag
wed-rag dance
thurs-rag dance
fri-rag dance, choir performance at Victoria Concert Hall
sat- rag day
i promise you a readers' deserving entry sometime this weekend if time permits!

in the midst of the wedding

2009-07-25T23:51:00.004+08:00

i'm eating damn a lot, non-stop! but after the wedding, i swear i'm gonna run/jog/work out/lose the fats! do a million sit ups & crunches everyday, wall sits, leg lifts everything!
today has been damn tiring! woke up at like 5 in the morning just to do up our hair and apply make up!
yay, and being a bridesmaid for the first time! (not a flower girl anymore!) it was really really exhilarating! the crowd was big, the buffet spread was sumptuous, the church service was meaningful, the ceremony was in a simple word- awesome!
there are damn a lot of photos in my camera (and in other cameras), i'm too tired to upload anything now! probably sometime next week! gotta brace myself for another long day tomorrow!!! i'm next to esther & natalie, my cousins at shangrila hotel! and in the room next door, my other cousins are playing guitar heroes and wii!!
i just had a half an hour bubble bath, soaked myself in hot water until my fingers turned wrinkly! thank goodness my manicure is still in tact (:
okay, i'm off to bed now, so so tired! i must wake up for my buffet breakfast tomorrow!!!!!!! (:
good night, good bye.

silly video

2009-07-23T02:41:00.001+08:00

wheerrrrt is this?
i'm shifting back to hall tomorrow. still have a lot of things to move back :/

2009-07-22T03:28:00.003+08:00

shifting back to hall is really a ~~bloody~~ chore!
this entry is entirely for myself. don't read cos it doesn't make sense and i'm sure it'll seem stupid to you. like such a simple thing but yet i need to jot down. not bimbo not bimbo
tmr: dad fetch me to sch, check in to hall, clean room
bring cleaning stuff like newspaper, rags, broom, mop, magic clean, tissue box
bring toiletries & laundry detergent & laundry basket/bag
dad picks me up aft lunch
go home PACK stuff to bring over at night!
round 1 (ku fetch me from home to church for wedding rehearsal, drop me back in sch, unload barang, wait for juncheng to get to hall, head home for round 2)
round 1- bring clothes for FWOC- all my FBTs & tshirts, pack stuff for wedding- cocktail dress, gown, accessories, heels, placard for jed
round 2 (juncheng's car)- steppers uniform, hangers, PJs, some going out clothes, underwear, stationary, make up, sunglasses, sunblock lotion, body cream & nonsense, diary, shoes (steppers shoes & running shoes), slippers, heels, handbags, sch bags everything, table lamp
bring laptop, camera, camera charger, handphone batt charger, pillow, bolster, bedsheets, pink piggy
shift in on thurs (no car). come empty handed (:

i believe my heart

2009-07-21T04:06:00.000+08:00

Whenever I see your face
the world disappears
all in a single glance so revealing
you smile and I feel as though
I've known you for years
how do I know to trust what I'm feeling?

I believe my heart
what else can I do
when ev'ry part of ev'ry thought
leads me straight to you

I believe my heart
there's no other choice
for now whenever
my heart speaks
I can only hear your voice

The lifetime before we met
has faded away
how did I live a moment without you?
You don't have to speak at all
I know what you'd say
and I know every secret about you

I believe my heart
it believes in you
it's telling me
that what I see
is completely true
I believe my heart
how can it be wrong
it says that what I feel for you
I will feel my whole life long

I believe my heart
and it believes in you
it's telling me
that what I see
is completely true

And with all my soul
I belive my heart
the portrait that it paints of you
is a perfect work of art

a busy saturday

2009-07-20T13:53:00.003+08:00

overdue photos from saturday! (:
JULIAN & CHARLENE'S WEDDING!

the sops! (:

sweet!

sops again! (:

during the lunch reception downstairs (:
RUSHED off to cathay for my photoshoot and fitting!
NEW URBAN MALE FITTING (:

hello!

serene!! (:

serene and karen (below!)

the girls (:

the boys.

looking and evaluating our poses.

:/

haha!

i really don't know what we were doing!

everyone plus the organising comm (:

again!

leonard (mr sheares hall!) haha

some mr cleo guy, and 50 most gorgeous people or something like that.

but we're ugly people in fact haha! (kiddingg)

mr watsons, friendly smile category winner!

and that was him last time! Drastic change right?

KAREN, fellow cheeeeerleader (:

DINNER @ FISH & CO!

seafood platter (:

2009-07-20T00:34:00.000+08:00

this is quite funny, if you watch it like 3 times (:

sloth

2009-07-18T22:53:00.003+08:00

i shared a seafood platter and new zeland's natural ice cream with juncheng today (:
i'm very happy cos i've been craving for a seafood platter since last week!

had photoshoot for New Urban Male as well earlier in the afternoon before Julian & Charlene's wedding!
got lots of photos to upload, but i'm just too lazy.
and tired :(

hi there, beautiful nightmare!

2009-07-18T02:52:00.004+08:00

OMGOSHHH my internet sucks! it didn't allow me to connect the entire night!!!:(
anyway, today's been a long day and i'm really really tired! tomorrow's gonna be another long day, but i'm really looking forward to it.
met esther at bugis! THEY WERE GIVING OUT FREE YAMI YOGURT ICE CREAM!! loveeeeeeeees it please (:
haha took like 2 rounds of it!
spent lavishly on myself to make myself happy (: bought a few tops (like 4), which was completely on impulse! (don't like them anymore!!), blue tights and a dress.
workshop today was better than the previous one! hope the biz rag dancers learnt stuff! i really want them to win (: LOVEEEE BUSINESS (:(: thought them the basics, plus liberty, and btosses!
i'm very happy whenever jiahui and siyong trains with us! (: especially since they have graduated already, i keep thinking when's the last time they're gonna be training on the mats with us again!!! sorry, no nice video besides my boring flyback.

after the workshop, i had a pretty long SRU meeting with khai, brit, cabin and mercy! I WAS STARVING COS I SKIPPED DINNER :(
i can't wait for tomorrrrow :D:D
julian's wedding early in the morning, before my fitting at NUM for next next week's fashion show! then i gotta rush back for church and night pract for the upcoming performance at victoria concert hall! anyone wants to watch? (it's one day before rag though)
i really can't wait for tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! (:

/edit
my tagboard is like flooded!
hi: haha who are you?
passerby: haha thank you! (:
xania: excuse me babe, why are you like talking to the passerby's/anonymous'/reader's of my blog? haha and why would i ask people whether they love me or not! i ask you only la idoit. and can you please stop telling the world that i sing to you? :/ ya ya i know you love me more than i love you. omg we sound like stupid lesbians.
anonymous: hello. omg? how the hell do you know my blog? maybe it wasn't me banging into you! it could have been someone else. since when am i/was i fierce? :( anddd, i don't really understand what you're saying.

bestfriend, you miss me anot! i miss you :(

pointers of today!

2009-07-17T01:20:00.002+08:00

i spent like 130 bucks at ART FRIEND today! :/ haha i am so busy with so many things, but its good, i like the way i try to keep myself occupied!
-i need to start on some serious preparations for my cousin's wedding soon! (not on myself lah!)
-i finally visited my dentist after about 6 months to check my retainers and teeth! thank goodness its NOT THAT bad. haha! thank god it didn't shift much! i have been hiding my retainers under my pillow for too long!
-i just got back from rag dance and i'm surprisingly not very tired!
-i need to prepare what i wanna discuss during the Hall Bash meeting tomorrow night
-i need to confirm the attendance of those coming for the workshop tomorrow evening
-help weeps with the planning (if need be)
-learn my music and memorise the lyrics for the performance

dailies.

2009-07-15T23:12:00.004+08:00

today is like the boringest day of my life (i dont care if theres such a word)
nonetheless, i'm happy the way i spent today! quality time with my family (:
lunch at fish and co with mama, then i accompanied her to shop for her kabaya/gown for the wedding dinner, went to the hairdresser after that, and slacked the rest of the afternoon away.
met my parents at ichiban for a pretty sumptuous dinner.
i'm back at home msning and webcaming the night away!

Li Ji nudged me on msn with these files cos he found inspirations for my next photoshoot.
picnic at botanic gardens tomorrow! yay (: half looking forward to it only though.

first i don't have such nice long hair! so its definitely gonna be an epic failure.

he'll only manage to capture a photo of me like that candid, when i'm not ready. and its gonna be ugly and unglam.

wait, these photos are like totally different from the genre he told me the other time!! :/ about a few days ago, we were looking at something like http://www.christarenee.com/www/

long rant & GFday

2009-07-15T04:26:00.006+08:00

GFday, 15 july 2009.

my GFdayers always!! (:

i've been super shagged out with steppers and rag dance :( i have been on my feet since last thursday! dance, train, pt, workshop, train, dance! on and on, non stop :(
tomorrow is finally a break.
FINALLY :)

i really really wanna fly to mars and stay away from planet earth for a while. life is just too hectic and shag!
joy's wedding in 2 weeks, my cousins/aunts are probably going for jogs more frequently, watching their diets, going for scrubs and facials and doing last minute shopping for accessories.
GUESS WHAT? i have yet to settle what i wanna wear for the tea ceremony and the ballroom dinner! i've got like 4 short dresses and 2 gowns in my wardrobe, yet i'm still shopping for more gowns/dresses!
i think its silly to go for manicure AGAIN on saturday night just so that it'll match with my gown! but baby pink ain't gonna match with anything i have!:(
i love my hot pink nails now, i don't wanna remove the colour so soon! i just went for a manicure yesterday!
esther and i are hyping ourselves up by finding opportunities to shop for & buy new stuff! (like even PJs) for the night we are gonna stay at shangri-la!
haha so extreme right? but who cares, we're doing this in the name of fun!
thank goodness there are like 3 bridesmaids to share the fun & joy of preparing for the wedding with me!
i sold all my driving lessons away for the week. i just don't have any motivation to finish up my last 3 subjects:(
sorry for the ranting, its 5AM in the morning! my body is tired, aching and probably dead but my mind is super awake and active!
the message i was most thrilled by today..
"&*#! i'm out already, where you now?"
haha (:

kentucky workshop over!

2009-07-12T22:34:00.008+08:00

this was saturday evening after church.
i am gonna miss fel so much :(
IJ girls are always special people! i really really need to catch up with Cel especially!

i'm totally drained from Kentucky workshop.
typed a long entry on all my sentiments, but i decided to delete it off after reading it through.
i didn't feel like posting it because i didn't want others to read it..! anyway, i'm happy for everyone that we all managed to accomplish many many new things, improve on our old techniques, and learn a lot of new stuff! it was my first time doing a rewind to chicken/cradle and also a cupie!

yay, this is a cupie!

training hard with juncheng for a nice liberty!

it was like watching youtube live!

the most amazing cheerleaders i know! and they were most awesome stunts they showed me!
i must overcome my short term memory and force myself to remember every single thing learnt!
thank you for the experience.

:(

2009-07-11T23:55:00.003+08:00

i'm pissssed.
i just typed a lengthy heart to heart email to my bestfriend with all my thoughts and emotions.
and my internet got disconnected :(
got a whole load to tell her.
i miss her so so much :(

kentucky workshop today and tomorrow!
i'll blog about it soon!
go youtube kentucky cheerleaders if you're bored, they're DAMN GOOD!

rants

2009-07-10T11:53:00.003+08:00

a million billion errands to run today!! :(
lunch with mom and dad before rushing off to ikea to buy the floating shelves so that the contractors working on mom's wardrobe can help me drill it into my wall!
head over to 2 different tailors at 2 different places to collect my dressES and gown!
rush over to clarke quay for my appointment with kelvin, to discuss the prices about club cocoon as a venue for hall bash (omg i hate haggling!!!!!) :(
and then go back to school for training!
actually thank goodness workshop is cancelled today, otherwise i won't how i'm gonna handle so many many things!
lets hope for the best; i manage to make it back home in time after ikea before the contractors leae, that my gown fits perfectly well so it doesn't need further alterations, i manage to secure a deal at club cocoon, and i don't die from the running and PT during training tonight.

hiii im bored.

2009-07-08T19:09:00.002+08:00

my life has been revolving around dance, trainings, photoshoots, shopping and probably supper.
(as boring/exciting as it may sound)
i spend most of my time either being online, eating or sleeping.
tonight, and in the next few coming days, i've booked driving consecutively for almost every single day! (: about 4-6 (i can't rmb) more subjects till i can book my traffic police test!!!!! (:
I HAVE THE URGE TO GO CAR SHOPPING! (:
but i've got a very very strong and bad feeling that i'm gonna fail on my first try! :(
so i reckon i need another half a year to secure my license!!!
haha but it doesn't really matter if i don't need to travel much right? (:
i can move back to hall in less than 2 weeks, but i'm absolutely dreading it!! maybe i should stay home more next year! :(
i really really love my room, and i'm not willing to break that sense of attachment i have it with!
i have a helper at home to do my laundry, make my bed, prepare my meals, and clean my room! (okay i sound like a brat) i have the luxury of sleeping under my thick comforter with the air conditioner blasting its coldest wind, i have my super huge wardrobe with alll my clothes at my convenience!
the process of shifting back is gonna be super duper tiring, and i think i'll need some time to get used to hall life again! :(
omg i don't wish to think so far ahead, but i know the upcoming weeks (esp when school starts) will be sardine packed with steppers trainings, rag dance, and road race trainings for inter-faculty games! DRATZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz...... :/
time to leave for driving
this is a nonsense entry!(:
see you take care have fun bye bye.

shopping!

2009-07-06T02:51:00.002+08:00

shopping spree with my cousins today was good! we were shopping for heels/gowns/pretty dresses for the wedding (:
nat's not in the picture cos she left early :(
it has been quite some time since we've gone out together like this.
yay for togethernesssssssss, always! ♥

let there be love!

2009-07-05T23:37:00.002+08:00

My favourite verse from the bible: LOVE

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 corinthians

no longer young

2009-07-05T00:44:00.006+08:00

it dawned upon me that i'm no longer a teenager when the taxi driver this morning greeted me, "good morning miss".
although i was dressed in fbts and a tshirt, i realized how i've become from "girl" to "miss".
i was still strapped with my huge school girl sling bag, a laptop and my shoe bag, but nonetheless, it didn't feel like how i was back in secondary school days. probably half as skinny as now and maybe slightly smaller, when i was in the exact same situation: rushing off to ccab/gym for training in a cab but probably carrying the amath or accounts textbook that seemed twice as big as me.
anyway, this may sound a little random, but i kinda miss my youth.
in about 2 years from now, i doubt i'll be in my fbts and tshirt! and my shoe bag will most likely be stuffed in the store room growing mould, fungus, mushrooms whatever.
i'm definitely gonna treasure all the time i have now, doing what i can while i can do it.
how about going back for ballet classes all over again? :/

my back walk over! i know i look damn noob :(
i'm learning.
and i look like some giant next to jh!:(

BANGKOK!

2009-07-04T20:35:00.004+08:00

i'm finally down to blogging about my bangkok trip! (: i probably enjoyed it a lot because of all the shopping!!!!! incredibly cheap (: i felt like a typical singaporean bird, going "cheap cheap cheap" from store to store. the malls are huge. it feels like orchard road times ten. okay i'm not exaggerating! but there's really a lot to buy.
thank goodness we took the early morning plane, reached before lunch!

very pretty donuts that changed my impression of thailand quite a bit (:

lunch was yummy!!!! my first meal there (: i had tom yum penne! DAMN GOOOOOOD i want more!
we had a private chauffeur that fetched us in a volvo to visit the Grand Palace.

i think the detailed architecture was breathtaking and all, but i'm not someone that appreciates man-made stuff much. i actually noticed the green pastures and blue clouds which made the scene even more admirable and comment-worthy.

i had a even more successful shopping trip on the second day! OMG I LOVE THE MALLS IN BANGKOK seriously!

bought so so many things that i was running out of money, so i withdrew another 3000 baht from the atm machine that cost me an unnecessary bank fee of 150 baht :(
nonetheless, i tried to stretch my dollar with a lot of bargaining and haggling. but i thought it was quite pointless after a while because even a 50 baht discount is just like 2 bucks! :/

and i thought it was quite irritating, cos every shop kept quoting retail price and wholesale price! in order to purchase an item at wholesale price, we had to buy like at least 3 pieces!!

the food court at the mall was superb! i was happy with my lunch and dinner! we had both our meals there that day.
omg i was carrying so many bags! the bags were hung on my entire arm such that i could hardly see any skin!

and goodness gracious, it started pouring quite heavily!

and yes, i walked through that disgusting puddle of rain water that reached up to my ankle! it won't be nice to imagine how dirty it was. but it was an experience though (:

haha being OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) like always, i had to record my spending- like how much i spent on transport, food, clothes/what not, when i returned to the hotel that night (:
and yay, my accounts kinda tallied! (:

i made some sincere effort to wake up in the morning for breakfast since it was free and i wanted to start my day early (esp since it was my last day there!)
breakfast was, i would say, decent!

walked around the area near my hotel before making our way to siam area! (:

then we took the BTS (their MRT thing) to chatuchuk! (:

i bought quite a bit of things at the weekend market (: didn't eat anything there at all though, we were afraid it wasn't clean.

and joyyyy! the puppies on sale totally made my day!

they were freakinggggg cute! but i think its quite cruel to sell them like that! :(

headed over to suan-lum night bazaar after that.

the place was very nice, and touristy! but i didn't really like it cos they sold souveniors that were extremely over priced!

guess what it started raining AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha we took a tuk tuk back to our hotel! and omg i enjoyed the ride back so much! (: it was a pleasure feeling the wind blow against my face, and watching all the other vehicles on my left and right zoom past me! LOVEEEEEE! (:

i haggled with the boss at this massage palour like crazyyyyyy! cos i had so little money left but i wanted to do pedicure, foot scrub, massage and all :( i got to do pedicure and foot massage only for around 300 baht, and 2 singapore dollars. :/
the massage was damn gooood la :D i scared the lady massaging for me with my flexibility! she was like "girl, pain?" then i said "no" and i lifted my leg even higher. HAHA!
haha had exactly enough for the taxi man to drive us to the airport the next morning!
guess the excess weight of my luggage on the way home?
no prize for the correct answers. haha.

heart to heart with mommy dearest.

2009-07-02T00:26:00.003+08:00

my mom walked into my room, and saw my webcam session with xania.
and then she exclaimed! "wah i actually look damn pretty here! quick quick, lets take some pictures!"
haha, so she took out her glasses and smiled for the WEBCAM (:

then later she said, "aiya we look nice cos its blur la!"
HAHA TRUE. but i don't even look nice. :/

i just had a heart to heart talk with my mommy.
i love her so much despite all my rebelliousness, stubbornness, and argumentative nature towards her especially.

caught my attention

2009-07-01T02:38:00.001+08:00

You are the one who makes me happy
When everything else turns to grey
Yours is the voice that wakes me mornings
And sends me out into the day
You are the crowd that sits quiet
Listening to me
To all the mad sense I make
You are one of the few things worth remembering
And since it's all true
How can anyone mean more to me
Than you
Sorry if sometimes I look past you
There's no one beyond your eyes
Inside my head the wheels are turning
If sometimes I'm not so wise
You are heart and my soul my inspiration,
Just like the old love song goes
You are one of the few things worth remembering
And since it's all true
How can anyone mean more to me
Than you
You are my heart, you're my, my inspiration
Just like the old love song goes
You are one of the few things worth remembering
And since it's all true
How can anyone mean more to me
Than you
You're the one, you're the one I love.

-carpenters.

more of my new room!

2009-06-29T18:20:00.004+08:00

haha i guess i won't blog about my BANGKOK trip yet! here are pictures of my room (as it is) now!
semi messy, but comfortable, warm, homely and hmmm.. just simply, I LIKE!!!!! (:
i am gonna aim to finish packing and cleaning it up by this week! then i can add my curtains, drill my mirror to the wall, add floating shelves, put up photos and all that NEXT WERK! (:

this is inside my wardrobe.

my sanctuary!

in the midst of packing my wardrobe, filling it up with lots and lots of clothes.

i love the lights mounted onto the partition wall inside the wardrobe! (:

anyway, i am preparing for an interview tomorrow!! reading up the bills of exchange act. doubt its relevant at all, but who cares. it doesnt harm to know more.
zzz i'm falling asleep.

on my mind.

2009-06-24T17:16:00.004+08:00

i've got damn a lot of things on my mind, need an avenue to sort it out.
this post is mainly for my own reference sake only.

~~-need to go for training tonight :(~~
~~-need to update steppers blog about our workshop I~~
-need to plan for workshop II
-need to call CCAB regarding booking of the place
-need to call Charmaine to negotiate price we're charging them for our external performance
-need to look at steppers proposal soon!
~~-need to call mingus to find out updates about the booking of a club for hall bash~~
-need to settle a location by tomorrow
-need to contact all my ICs (publicity, programmes and stuff) to find out how things are going
-need to start working on hall bash proposal for hall
-need to email freshies about the dates for workshop
-need to get down to artfriends one of these days to purchase stuff for my cousin's wedding
-need to find time to prepare the props and whatever for the wedding
-need to meet ku ma tomorrow to alter my evening gown
-need to unpack more boxes (that are still lying around my house) and find space in my room to put
-need to paint my wooden mirror, and decorate it fancy fancy.
-need to print out the photos for my photo collage for my wall
~~-need to pack for my bangkok trip~~
-need to get down to Ikea to purchase pretty curtains for my room
-need to buy those nice boxes to store things
~~-need to go for rag dance practice tomorrow night~~
-need to plan for another committee meeting before billy leaves and after edward comes back, sometime in the middle of next week
~~-need to contact josef from VJC regarding the coaching he wants us to do for his cheer team~~

-want to meet up with jan, toh and fel soon before fel leaves :(
-want to meet bestfriend Nat before she heads back to Canada again :(
-want to go to the night safari
-want to fly kite
-want to eat nice food, kushinbo buffet! adam road prawn mee! etc..
-want to go back to Mt Sinai on Sundays for lunch
-want to go out with Kevin, Esther, Nat and my cousins for a shopping spree!
-want to meet michael sometime next week for lunch!!

I NEED TO DO SO MANY MANY THINGS.
How should i balance the needs and the wants?

highlighted in red are urgent! MUST DO BEFORE I LEAVE FOR MY HOLIDAY!!!!

change.

2009-06-20T22:08:00.005+08:00

CHANGE IS REFRESHING !

i got a new room, and i think its quite pretty (:
especially my wardrobe!! not because it cost a bomb, but because its the closest to my dream "walk-in" wardrobe style.
i can probably slide open the doors and hide myself inside, and turn on the lights, squat (if i grow slightly thinner) at a corner and speak on the phone....
maybe i should get a cordless. a telephone in the wardrobe is a bad idea.
YAY but everything is still nonetheless PRETTTTY!
and my forever favourite- THE LIGHTS! i love the 3-linked-crystals at the four corners or my rectangular light! I can choose to turn the lights on to orange/white/both!

here are some pictures i manage to steal (:

on monday morning, they came to clear out my old bedroom set, the hall sofa, my grandmother's bed, and a lot of other furniture like the display case, computer table etc...

then the painters started work! it was quite a mess cos we had so many many things!

and my room was painted in a day, everything from the hall was shifted back into my empty room cos the hall had to be ready for painting on tuesday. i had no bed :( i slept on a mattress on the floor among all the boxes and plastic bags!! but i thought it was quite nice and cosy! (:

and then the hall was being painted on tuesday! (:

and the doors too, they were painted an ugly bright blue colour! everyone didn't like it, so mom decided to spend another 300 bucks to repaint it! i'm gonna see the painters this coming tuesday AGAIN!!!!!!!!! :/

on wednesday, they polished the marble in my living rooom (: i varnished my parquet floor (:

i mopped my room and cleaned my windows spanky clean (:
the contractors that had to fix my wardrobe from closet design came on thursday, as well as the electrician as he had to run a few loose wires for my table lights and wardrobe lights!

i thought it was super trooper messy cos lots and lots of people were walking in and out of my house! including people from ikea that were installing the TV console set outside! and some random furniture guy, sending in the mattresses, and more tables.

i saw the contractors in my room adding a partition wall! I LIKE (:

i started sorting out my things as soon as they were done with the skeleton of the wardrobes!

they had to come back again on friday cos the sliding doors, and wardrobe lights were not up yet. the contractors, juncheng and my dad helped to fix up my bed too! (:
THANK YOU!!!!!!! (:

CHANGE IS GOOD.

To go from Vulnerable to Venerable

2009-06-17T12:07:00.004+08:00

To go from Vulnerable to Venerable

If it pleases you to know, I'm sitting at the corner most of my room with my laptop on my lap, surrounded with boxes, trolley bags, and baskets of things. Somehow, i feel like i'm the midst of a junk yard. But anyway, i shan't complain since i'm in the midst of a renovation, for the sake of a nicer, neater, newer (ya, all the Ns!) and probably better room!

I am someone who is deeply connected to my emotions. My heart and head have a close relationship. Thats why, i always think twice, thrice and even four times before i blog something really intimate and personal down. (doesn't apply to the way i speak, i just blabber whatever that escapes my mouth first, which is not very good, i know)

Seriously, its not the matter of who is reading, and what they'd be thinking i'm worried about. Its got nothing, absolutely nothing to do with the "how would they think of me" factor, cos i sincerely DO NOT CARE.
But what's stopping me from blogging certain things down is MYSELF. The unsureness, uncertainty, and vulnerability, TO MYSELF.

Maybe nobody will understand my ramblings so far cos it doesn't really make much sense.
So please pardon my incoherence and accept the fact that as long as I'm happy enough to know what I'm talking about at this point of time, I'm happy (:
Perhaps when i click on my archives a few months or maybe even years later, I may forget and not understand anymore. But that's okay, as long as I know myself now, that's the most important.

I hope this will be a redeeming factor to the nonsense i spammed my avid readers with earlier.

1. What is your current obsession?
Ice cream yogurts. I'm unstoppable.

2. What is your weirdest obsession?
Probably, the collection of nail polishes (: Even though i know i'd probably not use it, i buy just so that my basket of nail polishes look complete, and colourful

3. What do you see outside your window?
My window is actually blocked.
Oh, actually a beautiful landscape of high rise buildings against a very nice and clear blue sky.

4. What is your favorite color?
Pink. But for items, furniture and things, I think its safe to stick to white.
White is clean, fresh and new.

5. Which day is it today?
Wednesday!

6. What animal would you be?
NO ANIMAL!

7. What would you like to learn how to do?
Mountain Climbing? haha.

8. What do you want to never happen in life?
not to see you again

9. What is on your bedside table?
i don't have a bedside table :(

10. What’s the last thing you bought?
Varnish and wax for my parquet floor!

11. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
Nice.

12. What was your favorite children’s book?
Butterfly Lovers.

13. Who do you want to meet in person?
Nobody in particular. Maybe RONALDO!

14. What did you want to be as a child?
A pilot

15. What did you dream about last night?
I didn't dream, i was too tired.

16. Which do you prefer, day or night?
night! (:

17. What’s your favorite piece of clothing in your closet?
my black and grey spag dress i got last christmas (:

18. What’s your plan for tomorrow?
Stay home and pack everything into my new wardrobe (:

19. What is your must-have of the moment?
Food.

20. What’s your favorite tea flavor?
Earl Grey, or simple Green tea is nice (:

21. If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
Rome.

2009-06-15T23:55:00.001+08:00

so beautiful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLeq2vj9kcA&feature=related
incredible.

2009-06-15T23:35:00.003+08:00

my room is finally painted royal pink!
very pretty! (:
tomorrow the hall will be painted, and the next day, the marbles in the living room will be polished!! the following day, my wardrobe will be fitted in.
exciting exciting!! but i'm seriously damn shagged :(

:(

2009-06-14T17:39:00.006+08:00

i was surprised when my old maid that ran away about a month ago added me on msn!

sasa Cute says:
hi!
how are you?
i miss you all
keep up a good work sang
love aunty sasa
please regards for me to all of you...and good luck i love u all
mel says:
hi sasa!!
where are you now?
in philippines?
sasa Cute says:
hello!
how are you
yes
i miss you all
hows the kids
i am hoping 1 day i will come and see you
all
mel says:
why you never come back?
sasa Cute says:
take care always
is verry dfecult for me
mel says:
i miss you too!
how come?
sasa Cute says:
hope you understand my setuation
mel says:
what happened?
sasa Cute says:
its hard to choice 1
i wanted too but
i cant leave my kids
i doesnt want to lose my family
its painfull because i already love you all
like my family too
mel says:
:(
sasa Cute says:
if came back i got nothing to come hme to phil.again
mel says:
is it? how come?
but now are you with your family?
sasa Cute says:
soo i was a bite crazzy i do not know what to do
yap
my husband will bring my kids away from me
mel says:
why
sasa Cute says:
and i do want that to be happen
if i leave them
mel says:
ya i understand
why will he do that?
hes not happy that you come to sngapore to work?
sasa Cute says:
soo i just recover that i really need to contact you all
i miss you all there
mel says:
i miss you a lot tooo!!!!
sasa Cute says:
yes he doesnt want coz no body will look after the kids
mel says:
oh.
sasa Cute says:
thats why
but i will come and see you next time
i dont know when
i just want to keep in touch you all

i couldn't hold my tears cos i miss her so much.
i know my parents are probably still mad at her for what she did, but i can put myself in her shoes, and i kinda understand what she's going through.

missing someone is a feeling i can't handle, even if you know the person is lying to you :(

so many things to do, how :(

2009-06-13T22:51:00.008+08:00

steppers workshop today is worth a blog, but i can't spare the time right now cos i've got a lot to do.
dinner was awesome! had it at east coast, seafood international with my cousins and family to celebrate father's day for my grandfather! (: omg i totally love seafood!!(except fish!)
all my aunts were trying their best to eat as little as possible so they could fit into their gowns for joy's wedding, and look as best as possible!!
photoshoot yesterday was damn fun!! i'll only upload the photos after the wedding, so be patient and wait till then! (:

gosh, i've got so many many many things to do.
i love blogging cos i somehow manage to organize my thoughts by putting it to words.

-complete SDU proposal for hall bash and send it out TONIGHT
-call weeps to discuss recommendations for freshies
-steppers proposal
-type out mins for the previous previous steppers meeting.
-pack my room, and keep everything into boxes
~~-go down to balestier tomorrow afternoon to get new lights for the living room~~
-transfer money (owe money pay money!!!!!!!!!!)
-extend my PDL (i'm taking forever to finish taking my lessons)
-plan my programme for tue & wed cos its super duper messy!!!! need to coordinate all the contractors coming on wednesday! and see to the wall painting and all on tuesday!
-bring my siblings out :/
-pack everything back into my new cabinets, wardrobes and so on
-shop for new bedsheets, curtains, frames and decoratives
-print nice pictures to do up collages for my wall
-change thai baht for bangkok trip!(:(:(:(:(:
-OG outing on tues?!
-hot date with bestfriend nat on friday 20th!
-NbyN photoshoot
-another photoshoot with Lance!
-father's day dinner next week!

guess what? I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW!!! ahhhhh i want tonight to pass quickly.
as quickly as possible!

camp blueblood!

2009-06-11T03:03:00.000+08:00

i watched dance subaru already, omg its damn nice! she's damn pretty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! makes her look even nicer when she dances!
i guess only people that understand dance (especially ballet) will probably appreciate the film! (:

i always find great pleasure in getting excited over little/great things!! (:
after exams, i was looking forward a lot to steppers holiday, and then campblueblood! now that everything is over, i must find new things to hype up my life with!

anyway, CAMPBLUEBLOOD was good! (: it was awesome being a facil for CYRUS!

i'm single, i'm hot, i can't be stopped!! You can't win me, You can't beat me! You can suck my sock! (:
i had to drag myself out of bed damn early the first morning cos i was in charged of the registration booth!(:
games were played were similar to last year. got dirty and all, nothing new!

the day ended with a nice dinner that the freshies prepared (: they're actually damn good cooks, i'm so proud of them! (:
at night, we played the first round of secret pal! so exciting!
don't mind ming chuan, but he was doing the blindfold test. the way he shoved his crotch against the freshie guys to test if their blindfolds really worked was damn hilarious! if they reacted, we'd know that they weren't properly blindfolded. It was GOODGAME to them the moment i got hold of a pen in my fingers cos i started doodling all over their bodies (and i mean, ALL OVER!)
writing the most ridiculous things like, "XOXO", "love bite", "i am gay", "kiss" and so on! (:

and later at night, when i got hold of the peanut butter, i smeared it all over them! (: on their neck, face, arms, legs, and even inside their mouths! (: i stood next to some couples just to eavesdrop!! some of their conversations were damn sweet, some were quite interesting, some were funny, others were plain boring! i spiced it up with the toothpaste, ice and peanut butter! (:

we had to wake up ridiculously early the next morning for games and more games!
mass games on day 2 was quite fun too (:

it was quite tough to get the enitre BG enthu, but we managed to eventually, i was really really happy (: it must be our super bimbo and cool cheers! i bet we were the most bimbotic group, but who cares la! we were the best! (: omgosh please pardon all the craziness and stuff:/
skipped lunch before the pool games cos steppers had a mini display for them (:

the sun was mighty bright!!!! but we managed to stunt anyway! (some bases did it in shades! haha!)
got quite sunburnt from pool games (:

the afternoon passed quickly cos all of us were having fun! (:(:(:
i had to rush back to hall from SRC cos i was staionmastering secret pal 3! (:
i love being a facil watching the freshies play secret pal! (:(: so damn fun! (:(:(:
not that i was extremely mean, but i kept saboing them! (: haha more than how i was being sabotaged last year!

ironically, i was being paired up with my SP (last camp blueblood) to staionmaster this time (:
huixiang and i were in charge of "extreme makeover". i'm sure the poor boys were happy with their new look (:

the night was quite crazy! CYRUS put up a mini performance during the gig! i ate quite little that night cos i didn't really fancy BBQ food!

training after that to prepare for our performance the next day was dreary! :( partly cos i was super shagged from all the games, quite badly sunburnt, slept only a total of maybe 6 hours in the last 48 hours (3 hours per night for the past two days), and i ate amazingly little!!!!!!!!!! like i skipped lunch on the first day of camp, picked a bit here and there for dinner at night, skipped lunch again on the second day, and hardly ate any dinner!!! okay i bet you're wondering how the heck i managed to survive considering my giant appetite usually!

slept freaking little that night too and i had to report early cos steppers performance was early in the morning the next day. i concussed on my bed so fast the night before that i forgot to set my alarm for the next morning:(

anyway, i'm not totally satisfied with the performance although it was mostly all stunts up :)
i thought it could have been more rahrah and hyped up!! anyway, i'm just very very happy that whatever we were training for has not been put to waste (: I LOVE STEPPERS, like usual! (:

after blueblood, CYRUS went to vivo for lunch together (:
went home to sleep for like 18 hours straight after that.
okay what a long entry.
TIRING!

2009-06-02T15:42:00.003+08:00

i'm in the midst of revamping my room (:
gonna get rid of every single furniture by the 13th, then gonna paint the walls on the 15th, and polish the floor by the 18th! my mom made-to-order a new wardrobe that's gonna go all the way up to my ceiling (cos they are gonna add a partition wall)! and a new bed, and a study desk! i'm really excited to see how everything comes into one piece!!
oh, and my living room too! actually, we're gonna repaint the whole house, and there's gonna be new sofa chairs, a new tv console and probably new curtains for both the hall and my room! (:
exciting anottt (: !@#$%
but its super tiring! thank goodness i got a lot of generous help!
THANK YOU!!!(:(:(:(:
okay, and after visiting alvin's house yesterday, i decided that i really want a chihuahua! maybe i'll buy one after the house is done up! his pug is super timid but super cute!

camp blueblood this thursday, i'm looking forward to it quite a bit! the facils are meeting up tomorrow to do the OG identity and appreciation gift!(:
i've got a lot of confidence that we're gonna be the most fun and happening group!
anyway, have i mentioned that im so damn happy that my bestfriend is back in Singapore for this summer holidays!??

shopping with her on friday (30th May) was crazyyyyyyyy! splurging so much on so many many things took my mind off those horrible results :(

had at least 10 plastic bags of clothes and stuff i swear!!!!! (:
we spent a few hundred each! incredible!!!!!!!!

and the way we carried out our shopping spree was simply amazing!
we shopped till every single shop was closed, and spent our every penny till our wallet was completely empty, and we ran for our lives to certain stores just so that we could make it in time before it closed.
sooo totally us! i love you bestfriend plenty! and these are the kind of things i'd do with you only.
my summer break seems pretty eventful, and i can't emphasize more how glad i am that mybestfriend, NAT is back!!!! (:
i'm in the midst of preparing a video for the freshies during campblueblood!!!!(: and as i came across these videos, there are just so many feelings and memories i can't put to words.
i'm not bimbotic or what, but i couldn't stop exclaiming and clapping my hands each time a stunt went up! that sense of relief and joy is indescribable! watching it over and over again makes me feel so happy! its like whatever we have been training for has not gone to waste!
especially the all girls routine!!!!!!! its dope! OUR BEST BEST ONE EVER!

2009-05-31T15:09:00.002+08:00

SCREAM.

KL (steppers holiday day 2)

2009-05-31T12:30:00.002+08:00

STEPPERS HOLIDAY DAY TWO- KL!
left genting early in the morning after a quick breakfast at coffee bean!

on our way down to KL in the cab (:

we stayed at The Royale Bintang Damansara!!! the hotel was really posh and nice, and it was just adjacent to this huge mall- THE CURVE! and a super short walking distance for cineleisure! (another mall)

we settled for lunch at Kim Gary's! (:

I thought the food was extremely worth it for the price we paid!!! (:

the entire afternoon was spent walking around and shopping! i was disappointed that my shopping spree was quite unsuccessful! :( didn't seem to like a lot of stuff, and i wasn't willing to spend too extravagantly!! maybe i just wasn't in a shopping mood that day although i was super excited about going to malaysia to buyback a lot a lot of things! (:
anyway, while some of the guys and yeng took the opportunity to get a haircut, shiqi, jiahui, juncheng and i walked around and around and around, until my feet almost gave way!
had baskin robins and omg i love it (:

we tooook a really really really nice picture to mark the end of our shopping spree :)

dinner was nothing fantastic. japanese food in malaysia is quite a bad idea i think!

at night, we played bluff and had some super nice alcohol!
i was damn shagged after that so we had a rather early night! :) (early to my definition)
okay that's the end of day 2! (:

bad results

2009-05-29T13:31:00.002+08:00

i'm not worthy of using the word, "horrible" to describe my results. cos its a hundred million times worse than that.
i am not drama.

genting (steppers holiday day 1)

2009-05-28T05:09:00.002+08:00

STEPPERS HOLIDAY DAY ONE- GENTING!
these pictures really make it so much easier for me to give an account of what happened! i'm very excited to blog everything down!

we left singapore very very early in the morning! had to leave the house around 5, so i didn't sleep at all the night before. my dad drove me to the airport and i had MACs breakfast before i boarded the plane! concussed immediately after getting comfortable in my seat and i wasn't even aware that the plane delayed by around an hour. well, good for me cos i managed more sleep!(:
took a mini van from KL up to genting, and i slept along the way again(:
ate a cake from coffee bean the minute we got there!

lunch was simple and quick! somehow, i enjoyed marrybrown like the first time i did when i tried it!(:

went to play at the outdoor themepark right after lunch!(: thank goodness for the fantastic weather!!!!!! (:

sat the pirate ship immediately after the spinner!! juncheng was behaving reallllllllllllllyyy funny! we all know why(:

the space shot was the highlight of all rides cos it was my first time sitting on it despite the fact that i visit genting so often (like once a year,omg). my legs were all wobbly and my teeth were all jittery even before it was my turn. sat this with jia hui and the both of us couldn't stop screaming!!! we were sooo scared when we reached the top that we felt like peeing in our pants! although we were almost on the verge of tears, we were laughing and screaming so hysterically!! it was a moment to remember forever okay!!!! :/ but well, its funny how i loved feeling that way! decided to sit it once more!! (:

our beautiful arebesques!

and this is my favourite since young (:

check out jiahui's blog for even nicer pictures!

we also decided to slurge on temporary tattoos!(:

i was super shagged by dinner time :( had pizza hut cos it was supposedly much cheaper than Sinagpore but i don't know how true that is. took a quick nap while waiting for the food to be served! i thought the service was extremely poor and the pizza's were nothing fantastic :(

went to the arcade after dinner and exchanged this moomoo cow for the many many tickets we got (: played quite a lot of basketball! (: my favourite!!!

after arcade, we went back for a nap! and washed up for casino!!! took an early supper at KFC before trying out at the casino at first world where i got rejected!! :(
stopped along the way for some jump shots with jiahui!

we refreshed our plan and tried even harder for the casino at genting hotel! i tried very hard to look serious, and with the help of shiqi's ah ma shades on my head, they didn't check in! i was super delighted when i learnt that every single one of us managed to get inside successfully! haha but i didn't have much capital to gamble cos i wasn't with mommy. just walked around and observed the tai tai's and ah peks throwing their chips at the bankers.

i left slightly earlier than the rest and waited for them downstairs because i couldn't tolerate the smoke!

stopped by at macdonalds for ice cream! and goodness gracious, i felt as if i was freezing into ice after that! thank you boys for lending me all of your sweaters/pullovers/jackets!
and that was the end of the first day of my steppers getaway!
updates on day 2 etc will be out soon! (:

my 20th happy birthday!

2009-05-28T02:49:00.012+08:00

here are my long overdue updates! (:
my 20th HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY!

love you girls!(:

family dinner at raffles town club!(:

lunch treat from leonard, eugene and CJ!

S14 classmates from SA (:

2009-05-27T23:48:00.001+08:00

16th May 2009
i learnt how to do a front tuck!

and jiahui is amazing! must watch her many many times (:

2009-05-24T02:06:00.000+08:00

got damn a lot of stuff to blog about!
a million people to thank for making my 20th birthday so haps!(:
and definitely x.infinity number of photos to upload especially since i just came back from my holiday with the steppers!!!!!!!! (:
but BUT BUT, a big BUT, stupid blogger won't allow me to upload anymore photos!! :(

"We're sorry, but you have exceeded your photo upload quota. For more information, check out this Blogger help page."

should i switch to livejournal for good? or should i just create a new blog?! :/
this blog has stayed with me for like 5 years! don't feel like switching anywhere else :(

okay please be prepared for some long winded grandmother story!
1. thank you nicholas, colin, delroy, jocelyn, kent, desiree, kevin, pageant leonard, yinyu, aston, prissy, evelyn, karmen, projectmate leonard, chun hong, vivian, frankiefoo, naveen, david, beatrice, wei xin, boontat, andre, calvin, gerah, bemgtatt, sebas, khai, mel chua, ken sing, chun ting, jia nie, abdul hafiz, wei kit, hui xiang, cheryl li, deborah hendricks, cavan, ming li, steph, cousin nati, adam, godma, raymond, adel, roy, cousin edward, esther, uncle wan yuan, trin, astral, winson, jonny, zhicong, ming li, jacinth, deborah, benjamin, cuicui, alan, chunlok, megha, vicky, shamin, sam shing, zhikai, jinhong, bestfriend nat, keith, regina, kynan, joel, mel cheong, dave, cheryl, amanda, ken jie, ziwen, gerald, cass, natalie sayson, mabel and leighanne plus a few people i missed out.(in no particular order) for the bighugs, handshakes, msn nudges, facebook wall posts, smses and phonecalls! (:(:(:(: loveeeeeeeeee plentyplenty!
2. thanks my dearest gfdayers for the lovely diamond necklace, dinner and cake!!! thank you for spending friday evening with me!!! (: plan the next gfday outing soon!!!!!!!!!!! (:
3. thank you steppers!! (brian, deo, siyong, ming quan, jia hui, weeps, yeng,wei li, edward and juncheng) thank you for taking time off so late at night to eat ice cream with me (: haha! LOVEEEEEEEES! (: and thank you for the yummy nydc cake too!
4. thank you choir friends for the happy birthday song!((:
5. thanks mommy for always knowing what makes me happy, and doing whatever it takes just so to make me happy! thank you for the dinner!!!!!!! (: i love you the most.
6. thank you leonard, CJ, and eugene for specially coming all the way from hall to toa payoh area to treat me to lunch on sunday!!! thanks for spending the afternoon with me, playing at the arcade and doing stupid things!!!! ♥♥
7. thanks michael, cass, bryant, shaun, kang wei and kian ping for meeting me yesterday at swensens for a meal (: i miss S14 so much!

i will upload some photos soon! and stay tuned to my next few entries! MALAYSIA HOLIDAY & STEPPERS EXCHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!

can love turn into hate?

love steppers!

2009-05-15T07:07:00.005+08:00

steppers chalet was a joy(:
i'll let the pictures paint a thousand words!

the slut carrying shiqi, jia hui and i!

deo's famous christmas tree! but it shld be chunting instead!!! :( she left early!

new steppers committee, carrying weeeeeeps!

the bitchiest comm acting cool (not me!)

ugly cartwheels! never point toes!

scales:D

bbqing rhe food for the seniors!

finally a video! (:

btoss backtuck

2009-05-12T22:03:00.002+08:00

got damn a lot of things to blog about!!! no time! :(
one of my first few btoss backtuck attempts (: i think the 3rd one?! I CAN FINALLY DO A BTOSS BACKTUCK :D:D:D and shi qi is damn pro too! she got it on her first try!!!! i chickened out on mine! the video is on krsteppers blog! damn funny, go see! steppers chalet is finally over!!! i'll update again another time.

liberation

2009-05-08T06:17:00.005+08:00

my exams are finally over. i'm damn damn happy (:
stats and ms paper was easy but not very fantastic:(
went out today with cabin, billy, juncheng, edward, fritzie and lizhen!!!
i felt so liberated :))))) went crazy at the sight of shops with the "SALE" sign! and all the clothes, shoes and accessories stores!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG i certainly haven't got enough.
bought a pair of denim shorts, a pair of flats from mondo and a pair of white shades.
we cut our hair after lunch at francis and jean(: the hairdresser talk so much cock, so irritating! my hair is the shortest it has been in like 6 years!!!
i did manicure too! my nails are dark blue now (:

gosh lunch was damn crazy and fun!!!!! laughed so hard that i almost choked countless times.
cabin told me, "nobody gives you a shit" hahahahaha well, he meant, "nobody gives a shit about you"! OMG the big joke of the day please.
and lizhen was saying she wanted to use alcohol to "distill" her room!!! (i think she meant disinfect)!
the exams must have got the better of us! :/

yay i love lizannnnnnn and fritz a lot(:(:

haha i'm damn happy i won't stop smiling (:
despite sleeping less than 5 hours before my management science paper, and only about 1 hour before my stats paper, i was still bursting with energy today!!!! (omgosh that means, 6 hours of sleep in 2 days!)
looking forward to more outings with nat, and everyone else soon!!!!!!!!!!!
and omgosh steppers training tomorrow night! it's been so long! EXCITING NOTZZZ.

2009-05-07T06:02:00.001+08:00

no time to blog
last paper! STATISTICS in three hours..
i'm gonna go crazy after that.

"if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it"